I Wake Up!

Thanks, Kid. No, Really...

The last couple of months, Ainsley has started waking us up using a new method. In the past, when she woke up, most of the time she'd play with her toys for a while. We'd hear her on the monitor and have a leisurely morning wake up.

Now, however, she's taken to screaming at the top of her lungs:

MOM! I WAKE UP!  MOOOOM!  I WAKE UP!!

Don't think it doesn't piss me off that it's "Mom!" she screams and not "Dad!" WTF?!

Normally, I'm already awake with Xander, so this isn't too startling. But occasionally, Xander will let me sleep in--and it's on those mornings that the monitor scares the crap out of me.

Yesterday, when Ainsley WAKE UP!!, I went downstairs and discovered exactly how much my daughter she is.  Check this awesome hair.  I'm pretty certain that my family has very similar pictures of me (and my awesome hair) like this at her age.

Also, sorry about that kid...our hair kinda sucks.

And Now for a Little Xander


After waking up, Ainsley decided it was time to go get Little Brother.  Per her usual, she asked to be put in Xander's bed.  This time, however, she did not try to lay on him and smother him in his bed.  Instead, she felt it necessary to show how she could pick her nose. Xander, in turn, offered up some pretty solid scrunchy face.

Oh Really?!

Part I:While Sean and I were at Harry Potter tonight, Ainsley got to hang with Sarah Sandman.  Sarah informed me that at one point in the evening, Ainsley imparted this wisdom:

Ainsley: Sarah?

Sarah: Yes?

Ainsley: I can't fly.

Sarah: You can't?

Ainsley: Nope.

Part II: Tonight, while in the bathtub, Xander hit Ainsley.

*sidenote* Lately, Xander's gotten into that phase of getting so excited he flails about and hits...and even more lately, it's becoming less flailing and more actual hitting.

Anyway, so Xander hit Ainsley.

Ainsley was astonished and said to him sternly, "Xander, no hitting!"

And then, the Velociraptor of Irony charged into the bathroom and ate Ainsley.

Florida, oh Florida!

So, we've returned from our trip to Destin, FL, and it's time for some reporting and reflection.


Bonsai Children

"I driving!"

Baby in a Box!

For those of you who aren't aware, we drive to Florida. It's a huge long ordeal. Luckily, our children are used to being tortured in the Bonsai tradition.  As we were packing for the trip, Sean discovered Ainsley preparing herself for the drive. Notice how she contains herself within a 1X1 box.

Xander is less arduous about his trip preparations. As a matter of fact, this year, he didn't prepare at all. However, the drive down to Florida must have conditioned him well because once we got there, all he wanted to do was return to his natural Bonsai position.

The Beach! (...or My Kids Don't Like Sand)

Parker Ladies: Loving Said Beach

The cottages in Destin are probably one of my favorite places to stay.  They have a pool (my favorite part of any vacation) and they're just across the street from the beach. As I don't go into bodies of water that support life other than humans and I don't really like the pervasiveness of sand, the Gulf and the beach don't hold much appeal to me.  The Parkers, however, love it. So, I go. Plus, I do enjoy playing in the sand with the kids...oh yeah, and I don't want my clearly insane water issues to wear off on my kids.


This year, we took a bunch of beach toys...and they were greatly enjoyed. We didn't make a monstrous sand castle like some of the other families around us, but A and X didn't care. Ainsley like dumping the water that I went out to get onto the sand within 10 seconds of my giving it to her.  ...And, well, Xander enjoyed smashing things around on the sand. Video evidence below.

The kids really enjoyed hanging out under the umbrella with Grandma...it created for some ridiculous cute pictures.

Ultimately, the sand would wear out Xander, who would pass out and be super cute in a towel.

Ainsley would continue to play in, and then reject, the sand.

Dad's Giant Barge Thing

Dad's Giant Barge Thing

This year, Dad bought this float thing for the Gulf. Admittedly, it looked really cool. However, please reference my previous statement re: water that supports life other than humans. Also, I've watched an OBSCENE amount of Shark Week, and I know that they're curious beasts that would clearly check out a giant floating thing. Also, FYI, Dad, after Sean showed me this today, I likely won't be going on boats much in the future. Plus, pools are AWESOME! What?!

The Story of Chomps and Andy

This is the annoyed face
of almost heat stroke.

So, Wyndham has this faux Build-a-Bear thing that they do, and we thought it'd be fun to take the kids and make them stuffed animals.  Debbie, the kids, and I walked from the cottages to the main resort place. It was small walk, and a gajillion degrees, and I'm out of shape. I believe at one point I sent a text to Sean indicating that I was going to have heat stroke and die.  As you know, I lived. Xander, on the other hand, passed out quite nicely.

Loving Andy

Ainsley decided to make a dog. Sean asked her if it was a boy or a girl; she said yes.

Sean: So, it's androgynous?

Sleeping with Chomps

Ainsley: Yes.

Sean: What's its name, then? Andy?

Ainsley: Yes, Andy!

My dad made Xander's stuffed animal--a crocodile named, appropriately, Chomps.  Xander greatly enjoyed Mr. Chomps. Particularly as a pillow.


Family Pictures

Super talented Alysse took some pictures of the Stewarts while we were there...and below are some of the gems. She has an uncanny knack for getting awesome pictures!

Ainsley will
GET YOU!

Artsy picture with Momma

Everything about this picture is awesome.

Men on the beach

Xander disliking sand

Stewarts 2011!

Xander's Birthday

The Spread

So, in June, we had Xander's first birthday party.  As promised, I'm here to report on the festivities...and show some of my sister Alysse's awesome pictures.

First, I must thank Aunt Sarah for letting us use her home..there's no way we would have been able to fit all our friends and family in Casa Stewart.

A metric crap-ton of
awesome people

Please note the beauty that was the taco bar. I think I may have to have taco bar at every party. Mmmmm!

So, we held the party on a lovely Saturday in June. I was very excited for this party and its outcome for two reasons: 1) I didn't get drunk (unlike Ainsley's first birthday, when I pushed myself too hard and raided Aunt Sarah's cabinet) and 2) I wasn't pregnant.  Before you get all judgy (though really, anyone who'd read this isn't judgy), I didn't know I was pregnant at Ainsley's party. I found out five days later, but it definitely explained the stress/need to drink!

Outdoor Fun...and a SPRINKLER!!


As always, Grandma Fitzgerald arrived with chalk. Ainsley and Kaelynn both enjoyed playing with the chalk. Of course, Aunt Jill had to get in on the action, too!

Aunt Sarah provided a sprinkler for some backyard fun.  All the kids loved the sprinkler immensely. It was one of those wacky sprinklers that shot water everywhere...so much fun!  Ainsley ran willy nilly; Faith and Ripley enjoyed the sprinkler.  I think Kaelynn was less enthused. Either that or she was showing her sass-face for the camera!

Friends and Family Are Cool!


So, just like Ms. A, Xander took a big ole nap during his party. Grandma Ballay got her baby hoggin' hands on him, and he passed right out!

CAKE!!

Alysse said Sean was looking
at me in this picture. *grin*

So, for Ainsley's birthday, we ordered from Halls Takes the Cake, which makes delicious...and very expensive cakes.  They messed up the flavors of hers, so we had a discount on file that I'd forgotten about.  We took advantage of that with Xander's cake and it was awesome.

Unlike his sister, Xander was willing to Tear. That. Cake. UP!  I kinda knew he would, Xander enjoys playing with his food.


Presents!


Xander, of course, was showered with lots of presents.  The hat that Grandma Fitzgerald got him was a big hit with the crowd, and he seemed to not mind wearing it.  Sean was in charge of Xander's presents this year, and he did an excellent job. I was particularly thrilled that Xander got a Cookie Monster doll instead of the standard Elmo. Well done, husband.

This is exactly the
kind of cute you can't handle.

 All in all it was a great party, and we were happy so many people could come out and celebrate Mr. Awesome's birthday. Now, I just need to write those thank you cards!

This Happened Today

Holy Shit.

Gender Norms, Dancing, and Cuddling, OH MY!

Pink and Blue

I know a lot of people who plan to or do fight reinforcing gender stereotypes in their kids: boys who play with dolls and dress up, girls who like trucks and dinosaurs.  I have to say, I find myself both reinforcing and fighting the reinforcement every day.  I figure it's a good sign that Ainsley is just as comfortable asking for a princess toy as she is asking for a car.  Xander adores playing with his sister's toys, and her dolls are no exception.  My theory is I encourage the things I think are good or harmless (most Nick Jr. stuff—Bubble Guppies, Blues Clues, and Yo Gabba Gabba, particularly) and don't freak out too badly at the things that aren't (I'm looking at you, Disney Princesses).  At least most of the shows they're repackaging for the children of my generation (My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake) are trying to reconcile the gender stereotypes that we grew up with.

Awesome.

Every now and then, though, I get hit in the head with some obvious symbolism.  Take this week, for example. I was working (or playing on FB, it's hard to say), when I looked up and saw the kids had decided to climb onto chairs/rockers.

Ainsley took Xander's John Deere rocker while Xander decided that he needed to sit in Ainsley's princess chair. So, that means my work is done, right?

Our Names Are AINSLEY and XANDER! 

We like to dance!

I Warned You that You Can't Handle It

Xander still has his bottle at some nap and all bed times—don't judge me.  If he didn't, you wouldn't get to marvel at this cuteness: